Newsletter - December 2007
Work-Life Balance: A Personal Story
December 13, 2007 - S. Thomas Wharton
The challenge of “work life balance” is a central theme for many people, especially entrepreneurs. It has taken me 13 years to figure out what “work life balance” meant to me. Today, I can comfortably say that I have a major clue and my life is dramatically better for it.
I started my company 13 years ago after spending what seemed to be a lifetime in corporate America. I was obsessive, worked hard and while I generally had a lot of fun, I was almost always maxed out. This manifested itself in many ways, including always being overcommitted, regularly being exhausted and having a failed marriage to show for it as I left the corporate world. This trend didn’t change as I became an entrepreneur: I worked constantly, overextended myself and had no personal life.
I had absolutely no balance in my life. I was on the run from Monday to Friday, many times weekends, arriving home exhausted at the end of the day Friday. I’d sleep a lot, spend time in front of my computer getting caught up on all the work I didn’t get to during the week, and when I went out, I’d always be thinking of work.
The burnout cycle continued. Every few months I’d completely crash from the effort (I remember a vacation to Canada with a friend where I slept too much – so much that my fishing buddy thought something was physically wrong with me). I drank too much, I struggled with my weight, and I felt physically drained. I loved my work, but I couldn’t see past it.
As I discovered what balance meant to me, I created a set of rules which evolved into habits that – among others – include (1) Spend Time Away, (2) Segment Space, (3) Meditate, (4) Exercise and (5) Volunteer. Following are my examples of each:
- Spend Time Away: I take a week-long vacation each quarter where I completely disappear. No cell phone, no email, no computer, no conference calls. My assistant knows how to find me in case of an emergency; otherwise, I’m completely unavailable for the week. I find peace and solace in camping and fishing. Being outside, and close to nature keeps perspective for me.
- Segment Space: At home, I only have a cell phone, and the only people who have that number are close family, close friends and a few clients. I treat my house as a retreat from the world and while I do plenty of working at home, where I do this is separate and distinct from the rest of the house.
- Meditate: I use the word meditate metaphorically – everyone should meditate in their own way. For me, I practice Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s Transcendental Meditation twice a day. Do whatever you want, but spend some of your time on yourself.
- Exercise: Exercise is a great way to burn not only calories but to expel the stressors of the day. My weekly goal is 3 to 5 times, 1.5 hours each session. I use the elliptical for 45 minutes for cardio, followed by free weights and machines for 45 minutes.
- Volunteer: Among other volunteer activities, I have been a child mentor with the Rhode Island Mentoring Partnership for 13 years. The personal rewards I receive from volunteering make life all the more worth living. By bringing a smile to a child’s face with no reciprocal expectations, I find no other activity in life as rewarding.
The habits have created a structure for my life that not only encourages but reinforces a healthy work-life balance. My work, which used to overwhelm everything else, is still a central part of my life. However, it is no longer my singular focus, nor is it the most important thing to me anymore. The balance that I’ve discovered has helped me understand the value of other things, which has made my work and – more importantly, my life – much more rewarding.
S. Thomas Wharton is the founder of OI Partners - Lifocus (Warwick, RI), started in 1995. He has over 27 years experience in talent management ranging from training, leadership development, coaching and career counseling. He can be reached at twharton@oipartners.net or 401-884-7959.
