Newsletter - December 2007
Eliminating Energy Drains for Better Work-Life Balance
December 13, 2007 - Sharon Teitelbaum
The term "work-life balance" doesn't just refer to structured alternatives to the conventional "9-to-5" (or 8-to-7, as it's frequently implemented these days) work day such as job sharing, flex time, and less than full-time arrangements.
Some of the most powerful ways to build work-life balance into your next or your current job exist entirely in the realm of self-management. They are largely up to you.
As a coach to high achievers since 1995, I have observed a range of strategies that make a felt difference in a person's sense of balance. Each strategy really stands on its own and can be implemented independent of any other one. This article addresses one of them.
Eliminating Energy Drains
The strategy that creates the greatest impact is to eliminate energy drains. These are the challenges and issues that nag at you, drive you crazy, worry you, or in some other way steal your attention and distract you from being in the present with whatever or whoever is in front of you. Many people have a lot of them. The more you have, the less in control of your life you feel.
Learning to identify and then to eliminate energy drains is a process, not an instant event. It takes time to develop the habit of recognizing when your energy is draining out of you and then to identify what is causing it to do so. It also takes time to develop skill in addressing the source of the energy drain so that it is eliminated, whenever possible, and when it's not possible, some other adjustment is made.
In the workshops and Lunch-&-Learns that I give in organizations, one of the energy drains that people frequently bring up is clutter in their home. The solution is EITHER to implement one of the many known clutter solutions OR to make your peace with there being some clutter in your home. Period. Either get it handled or stop stressing about it.
Another one is rush hour traffic. The choice here is EITHER implement one of the alternatives to commuting in rush hour (move your home or your job so that your commute is short or against traffic, or change your work hours so that you're not commuting during the rush) OR make your peace with rush hour traffic (listen to Books on Tape, learn Italian, tape-record your first novel).
Another common energy drain is worrying. People worry about all kinds of things: what does my manager think of me, how will I ever save up enough money to send my children to college, does my frequent headache mean I have a brain tumor, what about global warming, does my child have a learning disability, how will we figure out what to do with Mother? The solution for worry is straightforward. Ask yourself if there is some action you need to take. If so, do it, as quickly as possible. Ask your manager how you're doing, hire a financial planner to help you plan for college, call your doctor, join the Appalachian Mountain Club and act on their legislative bulletins, talk to your child's teacher, meet with your siblings and ask the question. If there is no action you need to take, then focus your attention elsewhere when you find yourself worrying about this issue. Say to yourself: "There is nothing I need to DO about this right now, so there's no point in focusing on it. I will turn my attention to . . . ." and turn your attention elsewhere. This is simple but not necessarily easy, but it gets easier with practice.
I don't mean to trivialize your worries or oversimplify potential solutions. But the bottom line is you can't afford the luxury of being bothered by things like this -- they are taxing you, personally, on a daily basis. Either get them handled, period, or let them go. It's really a mindset. You will be surprised at how many things you can get handled when you realize how much they are costing you in lost, wasted energy.
When you have eliminated some energy drains from your life, you will find that you have created more breathing room for yourself. You have created some space in your life. Be very careful not to just let that space be claimed by new energy drains. Be sure to use that space with conscious intention. Use it to get home in time for dinner with your children. Use it to finish work at work and not bring work home. Use it to have a full day off on the weekend. Use it to get to the gym, see a friend, take your spouse out for dinner, spend a few hours not feeling rushed.
Bottom line, your work-life balance depends on how effectively you allocate your energy and attention. Eliminating leaks are likely to make a big difference for you. Start by noticing when and where your energy gets drained. Notice what's causing the loss, and address the underlying cause. Learning to reduce the energy leaks in your life will take some time, like learning any new complex skill. Manage your own expectations so that how well or how poorly you're doing with it doesn't become just another energy drain!
Copyright 2007 Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.
Sharon Teitelbaum, author of "Getting Unstuck Without Coming Unglued: Restoring Work-Life Balance," Master Certified Coach, and motivational speaker, helps high achievers re-claim their work-life balance. Her interactive coaching process provides a powerful catalyst towards greater career and life satisfaction. Sharon's work has been featured in national publications including The New York Times, Forbes.com, and Working Mother Magazine. Visit Sharon's website at http://www.stcoach.com and subscribe to "Strategies of Change" to receive practical tips for work-life success.
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